Divorce can be a hard thing to deal with, but having children involved just makes everything that much more difficult. As a father, one of the things you want most is to protect your kids from physical as well as emotional harm. While you may not be able to shield them from every hurtful emotion, here are some ways that you can help your children to better cope with the divorce.
Keep Regular Activities
Finding out that the two of you are divorcing may trigger some anxiety in your children and feelings of abandonment. It is important that your kids see that you are still going to remain a very active part of their lives even though you and their mother are separating. Being consistent with visits, activities, and dinners will help to ease their minds more. Make sure that you keep your word and appointments with your children so that they can be as secure and stable through this transition as possible.
Don’t Talk Badly About Your Ex
Talking negatively about your ex can cause your children to struggle with guilt when they come to visit you. Kids should not be placed in the middle of your divorce wars, and talking poorly about your ex will only make the children suffer. Having children present during divorce proceedings may make them feel as though they have to pick a side or may even turn against the other parent. Be amicable around the kids during divorce proceedings and try to refrain from divulging details of your breakup. If your son or daughter wants to know why this is happening, you can explain without going into details that paint the other person in a bad light. No matter how wrong the other person did you, they are still your child’s parent and talking badly about them may cause the children to resent you.
Take Baby Steps
If you are seeing someone else, it may not be a good idea to have your children around them just yet. With the divorce being new, it will take time for your kids to get used to the idea of you seeing someone other than their mom. However, if your children are already aware of your new love interest, you should limit the time that person spends around your child. Allow your kids to be able to spend time with you alone without having to feel like they are sharing you.
These are just some ways that you can try to help your children adjust during divorce. The main thing they need from you is security. They need to know that you have not left them nor will your new life exclude them. While this may be a difficult time, with consistency and love, your kids will be able to get through it.