I blew it!


Well, I blew it…

I’m less than a week into this Super Daddy blogging thing and I’ve already shown a severe lack of, let’s say, “super-ness”. Last night I was sitting on my couch, working on the Super Daddy website, when William started trying to climb onto my lap and play with the computer. At first it was no big deal, I let him play around and just erased whatever he typed. But then he hit the power button which put my laptop in sleep mode.


But it’s cool right? I mean, he’s only 17 months old and he just wants to do what daddy does. Typically I find that completely adorable. In fact, I love that I’m his role model.

But tonight was different.

When I start a web design project I get obsessed. It consumes my thoughts during my waking hours and haunts my dreams at night. One missed detail, one imperfect page – even if no one else would notice because it’s just a single pixel – drives me nuts until I get it right. I’ve been designing this site piece by piece over many days; in fact, I’m not even done yet!

So ever since that first post on December 16, just 6 days ago, I’ve been consumed with this new project. I even sat down with the wife and just brainstormed topics for half an hour out of nowhere. Luckily she’s highly supportive and came up with some great ideas you’ll get to see later. For now, they just travel around on a slip of paper in my pocket. If you want to see them, you should probably subscribe now so you don’t miss out. (pro tip: the subscribe form is on the righthand side of this page, or below this article if you’re on a mobile device). But back to the story at hand…

I finally got fed up with William’s constant need to touch my laptop and I moved to the table to try to finish what I was working on. He instantly followed and began whining and trying to climb into my lap so he could play with my computer. Again, I’d usually find this adorable and scoop him to my lap and let him work with me. But not tonight. He’d been pretty fussy all day and my obsession was driving me to get something done on the site. I couldn’t take it, I snapped!

I closed my computer in a huff, moved it out of reach of prying hands and stormed back into the living room, exclaiming “fine! I guess I won’t get anything done tonight”

I immediately felt horrible.

Here I am creating a website to help dads be better and calling myself “The Super Daddy” while ignoring my son and getting irritated at him for just being a kid. Disgraceful. It was one of the saddest moments of my life and I still can’t believe I snapped like that. I didn’t haul off and hit him or anything. I didn’t even yell at him. But I couldn’t bear the thought of what I had done. I’d subconsciously chosen my project over my son. I’d overreacted something small, which isn’t a good sign for the big things yet to come when my kids are older.

When I woke up this morning I was still in shock at how I could snap like that. It’s not even usually like me. I like to think I keep a pretty level head in most situations.

All that’s left to say now is I’m sorry. I’m sorry William that daddy ignored you and let you down. I’m sorry that for that moment my stupid site work seemed more important to me than you. I’m sorry that I didn’t just set it aside, pick you up, and let you play with my computer. I know you love it and I know you’re shockingly good at it (more on that in a later post). I’m sorry Sarah that I showed such a lack of awareness, that I chose my work over our child, and that I failed a super daddy test. And thank you, Sarah, for being so supportive when I voiced my concerns about it. A weaker woman would have turned around and snapped at me for snapping.

I love you guys and daddy will do better next time.

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