The Mustard Bandit

The Mustard Bandit | The Super Daddy

My son loves the refrigerator!

There. Now it’s out there in the firmament… everyone knows William’s obsession. I’m sorry son, but I have to tell!

If ever the door opens, he’s instantly standing in the opening reaching for something. It’s impressive, actually. He flies from one side of the house to the kitchen in a second as soon as he hears the door open. His target: the mustard bottle on the door.

For weeks every time the fridge door opened, we turned around to discover the mustard was suddenly in the hands of a one-year-old bandit who was escaping happily down the hall. What is it about mustard that he loves so much? When he started this crime spree he hadn’t even tasted mustard yet, so we can rule out that he’s simply some mustard-loving foodie who wants to make a sandwich with it. So what could it be? Perhaps he just loves the color yellow! Well, he definitely likes yellow, but he seems to like red more. Why is he obsessed with the mustard?!

Ok, it’s getting ridiculous now. It’s nearly impossible to get anything out of the fridge without creating a makeshift leg roadblock between the fridge and the outside of the door to prevent the pint-sized perpetrator from pilfering our mustard products. Something has to change… but what?!

We hatched a plan.

He must just be obsessed with mustard for some reason – whether its color, shape, convenience – who knows! So the next time we finished a bottle of mustard, Sarah cleaned it out and gave it to him as a toy. He loved it! Why? Honestly I haven’t the slightest clue, but I like to see him happy so I’m happy with the solution.

But the very next time we open the refrigerator door, what happens? You guessed it! He dropped his mustard bottle and charged for the door. What is it this time? You already have your precious mustard!

We had stashed the new bottle of mustard out of reach and out of sight on an upper shelf of the refrigerator door, thinking even if he tries to get the mustard again out of habit, it won’t be there and we can distract him with the empty one. Good plan right?


That was the day his love affair with the squeezable jelly bottle began.

To this day he plays with that mustard bottle from time to time. An empty mustard bottle became a cheap, easy toy! But he still raids our refrigerator regularly. If only I could I convince him there are better options available…

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