The Pickle Incident

The Pickle Incident | The Super Daddy

My son, William, loves to get into the refrigerator. Seriously, it seems to be one of his favorite games now. His target is usually the mustard, but not this time.

A couple of days ago I was getting leftovers out of the fridge to make a delicious chicken patty sandwich. As a side note, chicken patty sandwiches are one of my favorite meals, fresh or leftover. Just saying. Moving on…

As I got the first few items out of the fridge, William sprung into his snatch-and-grab game. I placed the cold chicken patties, some jalapenos (my obsession), and the mayo on the counter. I turned around only to find William holding my special jalapeno-style (yeah, I might be a little addicted) bread and butter pickle jar. I pause. My next move is crucially important. One false move and he might drop the jar, shattering to the floor and sending my precious pickles flying across the floor. I thought carefully… He’s usually pretty good about giving me whatever he has if I say “give it to daddy” – he may wait till the third or fourth time, but hey, it’s something.

“Give it to daddy, William” I calmly said to him.

“William, …”

and before I could get the words out again, BOOM!

William opened the jar and it dropped out of his hand with a horrifying thud. My pickles covered the floor, the juice flooding toward my feet at feverish pace… It was over… my special spicy pickles were all wasted. Strewn across the floor like dirty mop water.

Now William is no superhero (yet) and hasn’t shown any signs of superhuman strength, so believe me I’m not claiming my 17 month old son is a miniature Popeye or anything, but man I wish that were the moral of this story. Alas it seems someone (probably me, from my last super sandwich) didn’t get the lid quite secure. Normally, that wouldn’t even be a big deal, right? Most people pick up jars by the jar, not the lid – even William before did he opened it. It would have just saved me some minute amount of effort opening the jar. But no, this time a tiny terror got ahold of the jar and that mistake was a costly one.

So please, even if you think your children won’t ever touch it, make sure you securely close your stuff – whether it be special pickles or a Tupperware or that container of cooking sherry you keep on a high shelf. I’m serious. Learn from this and succeed where I have failed.

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